Wastelands
I should have more fear than this....
Stepping out of the safety net of the perfectionist relationship with God.
Not casting aside all sense of duty or morality but laying aside the striving to keep and hold on to a moment of recovery and stability that apparently wasn't meant to continue in the same way.
So, I guess I'm spinning because even though I have let go the wheel I haven't
exactly turned it over to God either.
I feel nowhere but don't mind it too much either.
I'm enjoying relaxing a little.
I guess I am a little confused because I know my head does not want God to tell me anything but my heart is still asking for his guidance.
I am angry about a lot of things.
And I am getting fat over it.
I am living in a wasteland that has milk and honey everywhere.
Stepping out of the safety net of the perfectionist relationship with God.
Not casting aside all sense of duty or morality but laying aside the striving to keep and hold on to a moment of recovery and stability that apparently wasn't meant to continue in the same way.
So, I guess I'm spinning because even though I have let go the wheel I haven't
exactly turned it over to God either.
I feel nowhere but don't mind it too much either.
I'm enjoying relaxing a little.
I guess I am a little confused because I know my head does not want God to tell me anything but my heart is still asking for his guidance.
I am angry about a lot of things.
And I am getting fat over it.
I am living in a wasteland that has milk and honey everywhere.
posted by Becky Nelson @ 8:42 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:09 PM,
tsduff said…
"I guess I am a little confused because I know my head does not want God to tell me anything but my heart is still asking for his guidance."
I know exactly what you mean. Rough, isn't it? I'm having the same problem. Hope it gets better. I'm getting fat too.
At 5:57 PM,
Becky Nelson said…
Thanks Terry,
I appreciate the commiseration.
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