Let her cry

I just wrote an e-mail to a woman friend of mine.
Shocking what came out of my head into my fingertips.
I regaled her with a sarcastic story of my life as it is right now and did not realize how incredibly burdened I was.
What keeps us human beings in so much denial of how difficult life is?
Were we taught that its best if we don't complain?
Did that teaching push us into the only solution to the pain;
to pretend it does not exist?
Unloading feels good.
I think its akin to confession.
I should feel guilty for the bashing but I do not.
I feel lighter.
I feel justified.
How silly to ask myself why I woke up feeling bad.
Duh!
My life is hard right now.
No doubt it could easily get harder and the tools for overcoming unchanged.
Here is the "But" of it.......
I want to relate to another human being.
I think its ok for someone to say "Damn, I'm glad I'm not you right now".
Or maybe they would say "That really sucks Becky. You must be hurting."
"Yeah" I'd cry.
But few are sympathetic anymore.
The whole world wants to correct the problem and correct you for a bad attitude
and pretend that life is not hard.
Did the fellow inmates with Corrie Tenboom in the concentration camp tell her
"girl, you gotta look at the bright side, at least your not dead."
No doubt they wept together and prayed hard.
Their joy was a result of endurance and acceptance of God's will.
Did Job in the old testament laugh it off when his children were taken from him?
Ah well, lets look at the bright side and be glad I'm still alive.
Or worse yet, try to find a way to pin the bad times on his own bad behavior.
His friends kept trying to find ways to alleviate the uncomfortable truth that
sometimes life sucks.
That would make it easier for them.
Whereas I hate self pity, it is a fine line between that and there being a time
to wear sack cloth and throw ashes on your head because you need to mourn.
So, let her cry.