Saturday Morning Blog Blog Blog
So, last night my daughter called me with a crisis.
I was sitting in the car with my mother and husband at the time.
Cell phones create a whole new world of eavesdropping opportunities that allow us
to find out how others live and communicate.
I was a little bit, just a little bit, inconvenienced as I wanted to talk on the way home with MY mother.
But everytime I hear the subject matter my daughter wishes to discuss I inevitably
get caught up in the drama.
I feel what she feels and I worry for a while.
Objectivity hard to find, I still regale her with my best objective advice because
I think that is what she wants from me.
I am pretty sure of that.
I am not always sure, however, that I am right but when my mothers voice in the back round is heard cheering me on I think, "Oh good. She agrees".
The conversation starts to wind down and my daughter starts to feel a little better,
I think.
So, as I am listening to my daughter talk about more chit chat type of things my
listening ear is distracted by my mothers conversation with my husband.
She is saying that she finds it so jarring and strange to hear me counseling my own daughter and to realize that I am a mother with a daughter of my own.
She says I will always be her baby and she does not really comprehend how old I am.
I am 44 years old and my daughter is 25 and she has a daughter who is 6.
I am feeling old.
So, does this shock to my mothers system mean that no matter how old you get you
never really get it?
She has been staring at me a lot lately.
I know she is proud of her beautiful daughters but I think I see a new look in her eyes.
Maybe she is comprehending more and more what little time there is left.
I don't think on it too often.
But I am looking at her more and more and realizing that time is going too fast.
We don't have forever on earth.
I cannot fathom life on this earth without her.
Sometimes she looks so young to me.
Especially in shadows with light behind her.
I think it unfair that we cannot be like Merlin and youthen as time goes by and end
with newness of life as we head toward eternity.
Afterall, newness is where we are headed at the end of our age if we believe in Christ.
Anyway, I see you mother.
I know you see me.
I love you so and I am trying not to take one moment for granted.
Thank you for giving me a life in God that assures us that we won't be parted
forever when the time comes for you to leave us.
I was sitting in the car with my mother and husband at the time.
Cell phones create a whole new world of eavesdropping opportunities that allow us
to find out how others live and communicate.
I was a little bit, just a little bit, inconvenienced as I wanted to talk on the way home with MY mother.
But everytime I hear the subject matter my daughter wishes to discuss I inevitably
get caught up in the drama.
I feel what she feels and I worry for a while.
Objectivity hard to find, I still regale her with my best objective advice because
I think that is what she wants from me.
I am pretty sure of that.
I am not always sure, however, that I am right but when my mothers voice in the back round is heard cheering me on I think, "Oh good. She agrees".
The conversation starts to wind down and my daughter starts to feel a little better,
I think.
So, as I am listening to my daughter talk about more chit chat type of things my
listening ear is distracted by my mothers conversation with my husband.
She is saying that she finds it so jarring and strange to hear me counseling my own daughter and to realize that I am a mother with a daughter of my own.
She says I will always be her baby and she does not really comprehend how old I am.
I am 44 years old and my daughter is 25 and she has a daughter who is 6.
I am feeling old.
So, does this shock to my mothers system mean that no matter how old you get you
never really get it?
She has been staring at me a lot lately.
I know she is proud of her beautiful daughters but I think I see a new look in her eyes.
Maybe she is comprehending more and more what little time there is left.
I don't think on it too often.
But I am looking at her more and more and realizing that time is going too fast.
We don't have forever on earth.
I cannot fathom life on this earth without her.
Sometimes she looks so young to me.
Especially in shadows with light behind her.
I think it unfair that we cannot be like Merlin and youthen as time goes by and end
with newness of life as we head toward eternity.
Afterall, newness is where we are headed at the end of our age if we believe in Christ.
Anyway, I see you mother.
I know you see me.
I love you so and I am trying not to take one moment for granted.
Thank you for giving me a life in God that assures us that we won't be parted
forever when the time comes for you to leave us.
posted by Becky Nelson @ 6:51 AM
2 Comments:
At 5:49 PM,
Jacob said…
It is a hard concept for me to wrap my head around. I have not experienced loss. I'm glad we don't have to... for long.
At 7:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
I think about Mom's inevitable departure from us quite often actually. I guess it's because I live so far away knowing that I won't see her for another 2 years. She might be gone and I will have missed her passing. The thought of it grieves me deeply. I am in conflict about my choice to do missionary work. I know what the scripture says about all that but it still hurts to be separated. Oh this blogging thing is sure suited for melancholy temperments! Geez!
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